Wrecked
by irrelephanthumour
Summary: The angels have fallen. Cas is human. And lost. Dean needs to find his friend, his angel and while he's at it, maybe work through a little emotional baggage as well.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everybody, long time no see. For those of you who are potentially still waiting on Playful - I promise it is coming. Just getting back into writing after an interesting few years so hopefully I'll scratch your itches soon.**

**As for this story, its my first Destiel and was an idea that crept from a prompt I saw on tumblr. post/51878158125/season9things-submitted-by-anonym ous It will be three chapters - was originally trying for a oneshot but then plot crept in sorry.**

**Rating my increase. Still not sure exactly how graphic I'll be later on.**

**Anyway enjoy :)**

* * *

They've fallen.

The angels have fallen.

In a single night they have seen the sick twist on the ever romantic shooting stars phenomenon occur above their heads. A phenomenon that they have had quite a hand in helping to create.

The knowledge that Castiel must be among those that have fallen is just the icing on the messed up cake that is their lives. It figures that when they have finally fully managed to welcome someone new into their little family something happens to them.

Because that's what happens to them isn't it? Everyone they love and care about gets hurt. Why should Cas be any different?

_Because he IS different, _Dean muses while he watches the angels falling to the earth that they were charged to look after, _but then again, he has constantly defied Heaven and "what should be" so why wouldn't he, of all of them, be the one to be severely screwed over by the powers that be?_

Then again, on the other hand, for a guy that has sacrificed so much for humanity already surely the big guy upstairs – wherever he may be – could cut Cas a break. Let him exist in relative security with the brothers that have brought him into their little family and without whom he would be a bit lost in the world.

And doesn't that thought stick just a little because where is Cas?

* * *

The wetness on his cheeks is a new sensation. He's aware of what tears are and what they are a result of – he's been around for long enough that there are few human experiences that he doesn't know about – but he's a little in awe of now experiencing the sensation for himself.

Just the first of many things he will experience for himself in the coming times he supposes, the thought twinging a little as the reality of his having fallen and lacking his grace begin to sink in.

He's human. Human. No longer an angel. And he feels…

_Less _he thinks to himself, _and yet….slightly more. I'm finally a full member of this marvellous creation of Father's_

And yet the thought niggles that for however much he may enjoy spending time amongst humankind and possibly could adapt –_ well I'll have to now –_ his brothers and sisters are not so well equipped for this situation. He can turn to Dean and Sam and he knows they will help look after him, but for his siblings this will be a harsh new reality for which they are ill-equipped to deal.

_Sam and Dean._

He must find a way to get back to them, it's the only way he can start to work towards making things right again. And the trials, dear Father, what are they going to do about the trials?

A million thoughts clog his head, spinning and spiralling out of control before one thought solidifies once more.

_Sam and Dean._

He has to get back to them. First he supposes he should find out where he is and then work to getting back. Looking around Cas notices a dim glow on the horizon that he knows is typical of a human town or city.

_That's my best bet I suppose. Better get a move on or they might get mad._

With that thought in mind, the battle worn and weary angel turns towards civilisation and his way – he hopes – back to the brothers.

* * *

_Dammit Cas, where on this earth could you possibly be right now?_

The realisation that they've registered hundreds of angels hitting the earth all over the globe hasn't helped raise Dean's spirits one jot and it sinks in that they have no idea where Cas is.

And that is just not what Dean wanted to think about right now. He's barely been keeping it together trying to get Sammy through the trials and now his angel is missing.

_Woh woh woh MY angel? When did I start thinking of Cas as mine exactly? Well actually, I guess, for a while now really – hell everyone else seems to call him mine. And if that stupid trench-coat wearing idiot goes and gets himself killed because he can't function as a human and I haven't told him that he is actually important to me? To both of us?_

Dean knows he'll never forgive himself if that comes to pass.

"Come on Sam, ideas! We've gotta find him!"

Sam looks over at his brother, a cheeky call right on the tip of his tongue but the deadly serious look on Dean's face, which is now tinged with worry, convinces him to shut up and work harder to find Cas.

* * *

_Finally! People!_

Cas walked into the dingy looking bar, thankful that at last he'd found civilisation.

The walk back to the nearby town he'd seen the glow of, had been long and tiring and although a few cars had driven past, what the drivers seemed to want in return for their services was not something Cas ever wanted to do with anyone

_Except Dean_

Well ok, yes, except Dean, because at this point in time Cas knows his feelings for Dean and they are not strictly platonic. Far from it in fact. But as Dean's never made a move – other than some serious longer-than-strictly-necessary-eye-contact moments – Cas won't force anything. Dean, and Sam, are his family now and he'll be damned (_again) _if he'll screw that up on unreciprocated feelings.

If Dean showed any sign of reciprocation however

_Well I'd be on him in a heartbeat, no questions asked_

Cas smirked at the image of him jumping Dean and the shocked look that would doubtless appear on the younger Winchesters face at the action.

"Can I help you son?"

Cas, startled out of his thoughts, looked over to see a stout, matronly looking woman peering at him from behind the bar.

"Excuse me?"

The woman rolled her eyes good naturedly,

"I said 'Can I help you son?'"

Cas' face brightened, a smile working its way across his tired features

"Yes please! I seem to have gotten lost. Would it be alright if I borrowed your phone and made a quick call?"

"You go right ahead hun, phone's over there." she pointed to the back of the bar, "There are spare quarters in the jar next to it if you're broke"

"Thankyou" Cas replied, the smile still largely apparent on his face as he hurried to the back of the bar, quickly dropping a quarter in the machine and dialling the familiar number.

_Please Dean, please pick up!_

* * *

They've been at this for hours, calling everyone they know that knows anything at all about locating fallen angels and so far they've come up with squat.

The stress of time passing and the anxiety of still not having found a solid lead on Cas is starting to show on Dean and Sam thinks it's time for a mental health break.

"Dean I'm gonna order pizza, you in?

Dean looked up at his baby brother, stress clearly evident on his face

"Dude, Cas is still missing, we don't have a single lead and you wanna eat pizza?!" Dean finishes, slightly yelling and now standing in front of Sam.

Sam, for his part, just looks Dean squarely in the eyes and replies with a simple

"Yep"

Dean sighs, "Sammy…"

"No Dean, I'm wrecked, you're wrecked! And we're not going to get anywhere unless we keep ourselves going and that involves food. Now I'm gonna order and if you want something other than what I'm going to order, tell me now."

The stone look on Sam's face convinces Dean that he really must look like crap and even though he hates to admit it, Sam's right. He has to keep himself functioning in order to find Cas, and he HAS to find Cas dammit.

"Alright alright grab something smothered in meat for me will ya?" Dean smiles at Sam, wondering when it was that he was able to be looked after by his baby brother and not worry about putting too much responsibility on his shoulders.

_Probably around the same time as someone else starting looking out for you _that sneaky little voice in his head whispers and Dean knows it's right.

It surprised him to no end that someone, anyone, particularly an angel for goodness sake had been bothered to rescue him from hell and then to help he and Sam out with so many different things over the years? Cas was one of a kind that was sure. Dean still wasn't sure that he was worthy of being rescued, but he has come to accept, in some small measure, that maybe he does matter enough to just a few people that he can start to fully trust that they'll look out for him.

For one of those people to be Sammy, no problem. As much as he rags on his brother for being a nerd and not as gutsy as himself, Dean knows Sam can hold himself and those he cares for and will protect them in any way he deems necessary – the trials being a prime example of that. As much as it may surprise Dean that he is able to rely on his brother as much as he does, in some ways it's not a surprise at all. Sam's a Winchester after all.

Castiel on the other hand. Well Dean had no reason to believe that an angel of the lord, who really only rescued him because of Divine orders or some such, would ever be someone who could relied upon and trusted as much as he is.

Sure Dean has issues with the number of times Cas has just up and disappeared on them – often for no apparent reason – but even he will admit that the fact that Cas keeps coming back, no matter the rubbish that the three of them go through, is a massive marker in the angels favour.

A muffled buzzing cuts through Dean's musings and the rumble of Sam's voice ordering pizza in the other room. Searching around, he finally discovers his phone in his pocket, happily buzzing away, an unknown number flashing on the screen. Warily he answers

"Hello?"

"Dean?"

Dean's heart stops at the sound of Cas' voice in his ear.

"Cas! Are you ok? We saw the angels falling to earth. Where are you? We'll come and get you"

Over the phone Dean hears a muffled,

"Excuse me miss..."

It's a few seconds before Cas is back on the phone, giving Dean the name of a bar in a town, thankfully not even an hour away.

"Ok just sit tight Cas I'm going to come get you. Don't move you hear me? Do not leave that bar!"

"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to make my sitting down more tight Dean, but I will not leave. I promise"

Dean hangs up, those words running through his head, _I promise. _Words he's never heard from the angel before.

_He must be pretty messed up. Time to go get him._

Dean quickly fills Sam in as he grabs the keys to the Impala and practically runs out the door.

Gunning the car down the road towards Cas, Dean's thoughts are a riot

_He's ok. At least he's ok. Probably not an angel anymore. Almost definitely not an angel anymore. But its ok. He's ok. We'll see him soon._

Dean's hands tighten on the steering wheel as he pushes the car faster down the road towards his missing angel.

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	2. Chapter 2

A million and one different thoughts race through Dean's head as he speeds towards the bar where Cas is waiting for him. The one emotion that keeps coming up though is relief. Pure relief that his angel, his friend, is ok – for the most part in any case – and that soon, Cas will be back under his protection.

_Not that he's ever really needed protecting. The guy's an angel of the lord for crying out loud. He just has to show a glimpse of his true form and people are forever blinded. Hardly a damsel in distress there _Dean muses.

While that may be true, Dean can't help but think that the way the angel distinctly didn't answer his question about whether he was ok or not, may mean than something has happened to Cas. Something bad – aside from the whole watching all of his brothers and sisters fall from heaven deal. Something that might mean the angel does need protecting now, and he'll be damned if anyone else is going to provide it for the angel except for him.

Further relief courses through Dean's body as he sees the streetlights and welcome sign letting him know he's reached his destination. The bar that Cas described is fairly easy to find – small towns only tend to have one big bar so all he needs to do is look for all the cars and sure enough, a large neon sign proclaims this to be the local drinking hole where Cas is.

As he parks, a knot builds in his stomach as the apprehension builds.

_What if something HAS happened? The other angels fell. Did he? What if he's hurt?!_

The first two questions he can't even begin to fathom but at least Dean knew the answer to the last one. If Cas was hurt then no matter what, Dean would be finding whoever was responsible and beating a good load of crap out of them, come hell or high water. He found it a little surprising to realise he felt so…territorial about Cas. As much as people commented on the angel belonging to Dean, he's always associated those sorts of claiming emotions – the one's that make him want to growl 'Mine!' at anyone else eyeing off his property – with people he's been in relationships with. So what did it mean that he was now apparently applying that principle to Cas?

_Well isn't that an interesting idea? _Dean's inner voice chimed in, _being in a relationship with Cas. _

_The angel._

_YOUR angel._

_The man that has never shown any indication of being romantically interested. You think you're interested in Cas? The man who constantly skips out on the only family he has here on earth and has left you and Sam time and time again? _

Dean knows all of this - has battled with Cas' constant disappearing from the very beginning. Taking it as a sign that, like everyone else in his life, Cas will eventually leave and not come back. Has seen Cas do exactly what he hated – leave him and Sam time and time again. Had just done it again. And whatever it was the Cas had set out to do, somehow, the end result was the angels falling. Even though Dean had tried to convey how much he thought Cas locking the doors behind him wasn't the best or even the only option, Cas had gone to do it anyway. Leaving them. Leaving Dean. Again. It always happened. Cas always left. And Dean hated it.

Yet an even smaller voice pipes up inside him to whisper that Cas came back. Every single time. Even when he had no memory of who he or the brothers were, they eventually got him back. Hell Cas had even managed to come back from Purgatory – something that even to those in the know about the supernatural seemed an impossible task.

So as much as he may have scoffed at Cas calling their bond "profound", even he can't deny that they're drawn to each other, something brings Cas back to them – to Dean - time and time again.

All of these thoughts have raced through Dean's head by the time he walks into the bar, scanning the crowd for a tan trench coat topped by a head of black hair. Sure enough he quickly spots him sitting at the bar chatting to the bartender, looking for all the world like he visits this spot every night and is just one of the regulars.

As he walks over Cas throws his head back, laughing at something the bartender says and for a moment a hot flush of jealousy rushes over Dean until he reins it in with a stern _CHILL OUT DUDE_

Cas must sense him coming because sooner than Dean is prepared for there are two universe-deep blue eyes staring into his own and he feels like he's had every ounce of air stolen out of his lungs. Cas' eyes have always been stunning (not that Dean has thought about that at all) but now there is…something sitting in those blue depths that hasn't been there previously, and it takes a few moments before it hits Dean exactly what that something is.

Pain.

Unadulterated pain.

Very _human _unadulterated pain.

That stops Dean short, bringing him to a standstill just a few inches from Cas and the eyes that are currently telling him more than words will. There's relief and sadness floating in those eyes as well, and while it's not like Cas has never expressed those emotions through speech before, seeing the evidence of them in his eyes has Dean reaching forward to grasp the angel's shoulder, almost as if to verify that he is really sitting there in front of him.

"Hello Dean"

The words reverberate through Dean's body and he realises that he's been standing there looking into Cas' eyes for quite a bit longer than would be considered standard practice. Clearing his throat he replies a little shakily,

"Hey Cas," clearing his throat again, "you're ok?" he asks, as he scans his angel up and down for any evidence of physical harm

"I am largely unhurt Dean, but I'm not sure if I can truly claim to being 'ok'"

That's ok, Dean thinks to himself, they can deal with the hurts, both physical and emotional, but for now the certainty that standing here in front of him is Cas, whole, with memories and alive in the world is enough for Dean to feel an incredible wave of relief wash over him as he pulls Cas into a hug, wrapping his arms around the angel and tucking his head in the crook of his neck.

"You stupid son of a bitch, Cas" he mumbled into the angels neck.

Cas for his part, wrapped his arms around Dean's waist and felt some small measure of solace settling over him as he soaked up the smell and presence of the hunter.


End file.
